To: Chief Executive Officer
From: Intern
Date: August 25, 2009
Re: Executive Management Team Meetings
Today we have our weekly Executive Management Team Meeting. They're every Wednesday like clock-work. And when I say like clock-work, I mean a fucked up, broken clock. Today's Tuesday. But remember, we're rigidly flexible around here.
Executive Management Team Meetings are day-long reporting sessions. Every senior executive, and they're are quite a few, reports to the CEO. What these senior executives actually do is a topic for a whole 'nother blog, what's important for purposes of this blog is the structuring of this meeting.
First, there's the pre-meeting work sessions. This is where the "work" is done - meaning they talk about what work has been and is being done. Then there's the pre-meeting to discuss what will be discussed at the meeting. The big production, the meeting, is where everything is discussed in the most excruciating detail. In fact, the discussions become so minute that the senior executives engage in what I call mid-meeting meetings. Essentially, this entails leaving the meeting and phoning anyone who can elucidate the details of projects that the senior executive should know about. At least, I think that's who they're calling. They might actually be calling their family to tell them they won't be home for two days or having phone sex with a secretary to break the monotony of the meeting. Finally, after the grueling marathon of a meeting, there's the post-meeting debriefing. After a work session, pre-meeting, meeting and mid-meeting meetings nothing could be more useful than a good review to tie it all together.
I would say that Wednesdays are a complete waste of time, but considering what the rest of the week is like, they might actually be the most productive.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Name
To: Chief Executive Officer
From: Intern
Date: August 24, 2009
Re: Name
Every book needs a title and every blog needs a name. "Rigidly Flexible" is the phrase that excuses otherwise unacceptable behavior here at M. Any time an Executive Management Meeting begins an hour after schedule, "We're rigidly flexible around here" is the offered rationale. If you can't complete your online time sheet after 4 weeks on the job because you still haven't been entered into M's employee database, it's because "We're rigidly flexible around here." Don't get me wrong, i understand that every corporation has its idiosyncrasies, but only a quasi-governmental or governmental agency mooching off public funds could afford to have this kind of lackadaisical attitude towards any sort of efficiency.
As two grad students just entering the M workforce as interns, we quickly realized that no system of inefficiency and redundancy this bloated should go unrewarded by being blogless. We felt burdened to share our experiences (and selfishly hope it will be cathartic). We know others out there experience similar frustrations that would be comedic if they happened to someone else, so we figured we'd be that "someone else". In the vein of Dilbert, The Office and Office Space, we offer this commentary. To all you nameless, faceless interns, to all you corporate drones, to all you mid-level managers, to anyone who's ever wondered how the real world works, or doesn't - read on!
From: Intern
Date: August 24, 2009
Re: Name
Every book needs a title and every blog needs a name. "Rigidly Flexible" is the phrase that excuses otherwise unacceptable behavior here at M. Any time an Executive Management Meeting begins an hour after schedule, "We're rigidly flexible around here" is the offered rationale. If you can't complete your online time sheet after 4 weeks on the job because you still haven't been entered into M's employee database, it's because "We're rigidly flexible around here." Don't get me wrong, i understand that every corporation has its idiosyncrasies, but only a quasi-governmental or governmental agency mooching off public funds could afford to have this kind of lackadaisical attitude towards any sort of efficiency.
As two grad students just entering the M workforce as interns, we quickly realized that no system of inefficiency and redundancy this bloated should go unrewarded by being blogless. We felt burdened to share our experiences (and selfishly hope it will be cathartic). We know others out there experience similar frustrations that would be comedic if they happened to someone else, so we figured we'd be that "someone else". In the vein of Dilbert, The Office and Office Space, we offer this commentary. To all you nameless, faceless interns, to all you corporate drones, to all you mid-level managers, to anyone who's ever wondered how the real world works, or doesn't - read on!
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